News reports are coming in that Alfie Patten is to open the envelope containing the DNA test results which may or may not prove that he is or is not the father of little benefits ticket Maisie, who it is claimed he fathered on his beloved Chantelle when he was just 12 and she was 15, live on television.
Now, quite apart from the fact that serial truant Alfie probably can’t read, and would have to have the results explained to him, which would kind of spoil any dramatic impact until the facts of the matter had dawned on the baby faced hooligan, what level of depravity has “reality TV” brought us to?
I refuse to watch it, but Big Brother and its spin offs have a lot to answer for. Apart from anything else they have spawned the horror story that is Jade Goody, whose tragedy is being milked for all it is worth by the likes of the odious Max Clifford. You can almost guarantee that she will die on live TV, in order to provide more money for her children (and for her publicist, and the TV executives, and Heat magazine, and The People ).
So where next for little Alfie? Live coverage of his “second” sexual encounter with Chantelle? What about the first time he slips her one up the arse because she’s on the blob?