In this post, OH speaks of Count Mandelson’s new post as First Whatever of the Whatnot, effectively deputy PM even though no such post exists. Commenters concentrate on the ‘jewish’ reference to the exclusion of the main points. For the record, I neither know nor care about anyone’s religious affiliation, skin colour or sexuality. Not in the slightest. So, no easy distractions here.
I have speculated that all the Count now needs is a psychiatric assessment of the Gorgon, requiring him to take a ‘bit of a holiday’ in the Shady Oaks Rest Home for Weary Minds, and the Count has control. I thought we might be one move from checkmate.
Guido spotted an alternative interpretation. In his scenario, the Dark Lord is in the position he wanted all along. The Gorgon has lost all support. His Cabinet is falling apart. Far from Blair’s ‘cabinet of all the talents’, the Gorgon is stuck with ‘the cabinet of all I have left’. He is desperate to hold on to the job but all around him are people who want him to leave.
So the Count has a broken man as a puppet. The Gorgon will say and do anything to stay in No. 10 and now is the time for the Count to start suggesting good ideas. Once a few of those go through, the Gorgon will do exactly what the Count says.
Paranoia and conspiracy theory. I know, I know, but consider. When did things really start to go wrong? When the Gorgon took over from Tony the Teeth? No, he was a bit of a bumbler but he was doing fair-to-middling at the time. He was never going to win the next election because there was nothing inspiring about him but he was bearable.
All the real chaos started when he brought Fangs Mandelson home and gave him a seat in the Lords. Since then, the Labour party have never been out of the news for any 24-hour stretch and it’s always bad. Now, at their lowest ebb ever, the Dark Lord has taken his place behind the throne and whispers in the ear of the deranged and desperate Gorgon. He has broken Labour and he’s about to remould it to his own specification.
If I’m wrong, I’ll be glad to be wrong.
If I’m right, the Gorgon will suddenly say and do something sensible, or at least coherent, starting on Monday when the Backstabbers Brigade march on his office. Something to turn them away, stay their hands and have them cheering instead of baying for blood.
If Guido’s scenario is right, if Mandelson is exactly where he wants to be, then he can wield power with no comeback. The Gorgon will take the flak if anything goes wrong.
If Guido is right, then the game is already over. The Gorgon is now the Mouth of Mandelson.
And we are in big trouble.