After the government announced today that strict new laws and restrictions will be applied in an attempt to curb forced marriages and the importation of child brides into the UK, 9 year fiancees of their 30 year old cousins rioted in Karachi.
7 year old Fatima said (via a translator)
This is shit, innit. Ever since I was born, I have been engaged to Habib Hubcap, my dad’s brother. I’m supposed to be in Bradford by now, bigging it up wiv da Mothercare Massive instead of sitting here chewing dust for like, no rupees a day, whatever, to support the family housebrick business. We are not happy. Mohammed married a foetus AND had bridesmaids and cake and everything, so this is obviously another outrage against Islam. Like them pictures, innit.
Her Fiance, 30 year old Mr Habib Hubcap, speaking from his taxi in Bradford said (via a translator)
This is shit, innit. I’ve filled in the child benefit forms, my other wives have bought her a Bratz doll in Argos from their own pocket money and now what? 21 years old before Fatima can join me in my bed? Fuck me, life expectancy for females is only 14 in my province, so I guess I’m engaged to a corpse. My brother paid me £3000 to marry this inbred and I’ve already spent that on the Mondeo so he’s not getting that back, I can bloody well tell you….I feel a Jihad coming on. What’s Trevor Phillip’s number, innit?
Jacqui Smith is lovely and currently in hiding.