I’m a Libertarian. Lots of people ask me what exactly that means, so to clarify a little, let me explain. I used to be a Liberal on the grounds that I detest Labour who constantly want to run every single aspect of your fucking life, from how much you can put in your bin to how many alcohol units you can drink or where you can smoke or…bollocks. You get the picture.
I couldn’t vote Tory either because basically, they are rich cunts who couldn’t give a shit what happens along as they can make money out of it, and I believe that life is for living, not for acquiring vast fortunes. Then I realised that the Liberals are just wishy washy versions of the other two parties. They would arse rape you too but are too polite so go off and wank furiously at the thought in a layby near Harrogate.
Right. So where does my vote go?
Libertarians. What does a libertarian believe in?
My life, my responsibility – This means that if I want a house, I get a job that will pay me enough to buy a house. This means I will need skills that people will pay for. This means I need to be half ways educated. So, I studied, got a good job, earned enough to buy a house and bought one. Not exactly remarkable but millions of people out there prefer to let the State organise all of that for them. The end result is that the State, who frankly couldn’t run a bath, educated them. So they are thick. So the State let’s them go to university where they study “Wayne Rooney Interactions and Paradigm shifts”. They pass and now have an utterly useless qualification. So they can’t get a good job because they are thick and not qualified. So they turn to the State for Tax Credits to supplement their income stacking shelves in Aldi. Now they can just about afford a house but shit themselves each month when the bills drop on the mat. One percent change in Interest rates will see them living back with Mum and Dad. Is that a free life? Nope. It is bonded labour to the all powerful State.
If it is not expressly forbidden, then it is allowed. That used to be the case. Want to put a model of a shark on the roof? Go ahead. Want to drill for oil in your own garden? No problem. This has now all changed 180 degrees. Britain has become a place where unless it is expressly allowed, consider it forbidden. How many times have you thought “I wonder if I’m allowed to do that” recently? Every single part of our lives is being run centrally and it pisses me off. If what I am doing is not hurting or lowering the quality of anyone else’s life, why the fuck should they be interested? But they are. Very interested. I am monitored, tracked and studied by everyone from Tescos to the TV licensing people. Libertarianism says “look. Fuck off. Leave me alone, alright?If I came up to you and continually flicked you on the cheek, you’d ask me to stop, if I didn’t stop, you’d end up smacking me one. Don’t say you haven’t been warned.”. (H/T Snowolf)
So in summary, if you believe that ultimately, when lying on your deathbed, you had the life that you wanted because you took responsibility for it and can die happy, then you are a Libertarian. If you gasp and mutter that not enough is in the bank, that awful Mr Wilson let you down, your lot was shite, wouldn’t it have been nice if only…etc, then you are exactly the sort of twat that the three main political parties feed off.
Libertarians may or may not die rich. They may or may not die famous or successful. But they DO die happy. Because they did it their way.
So join. It costs a tenner, you get a nice little badge and a keyring that could start some great arguments down the pub. You also get the feeling that you might just be taking the first step on a road YOU want to travel, and not being herded down the M6 on a Friday afternoon with all the other morons.
There is no left or right in politics any more. This battle is about one thing, Authority versus Liberty