After 11 years of rule, a massive three thousand new laws, one a day in fact, New Labour have finally made everything illegal. I discovered this today as I tried to sell a grey squirrel. That is now illegal.
So, on the assumption that everything is now illegal, we must all be criminals. This, at least, explains why we have 14 million CCTV cameras watching us all day. It also explains why half the population acts like hardened old lags when barging to the front of the queue to pick up their weekly snout allowance and the other half are lawyers.
If I am going to be treated as a criminal, I am going to act like one. You have been warned.