High Supreme Chancellor Overlord of Banks, Comrade Brown, inspecting the Holborn branch of Barclovskiloyd Peoples Bank yesterday
“Good Morning Mr Bank Manager”
“Actually, it’s Good Morning Comrade Bank Manager”
“Oh, right. I’d like a loan please”
“Really? What for?”
“Well, the kids are growing like bastard Lleylandii and I need a loft extension”
“Ah good. We like to help ‘hard working families’. Tell me, what do you do for a living? “
“I’m a lorry driver. I work for myself. I bought the truck three years ago”
“Really. So you are an eco terrorist”
“Huh?”
“And a capitalist”
“Huh?”
“Do you employ any handicapped people? Lesbians? Muslims?”
“Huh?”
“Get out. Don’t expect the Peoples Bank of Barclovskiloyds to finance your treachery. I don’t suppose you deliver to Cuba, do you? Thought not. Nazi. I am reporting your account to the Peoples Inland Revenue for an audit and I am freezing your assets under The 2001 Anti Terrorism, Crime and Security Act. Enemy of the State, you”
Now that the Government will be controlling the banks, will they get a say in how the banks are run?
You bet. They demand it.
Will Banks be political?
You bet.
Anything that is not entirely New Labour will not be financed. Anyone who does not fit the New Labour mould (sic) will not obtain credit. Businesses that donate to anyone other than New Labour are going to find “obstacles” placed in their way.
Think I’m joking? I’m not
UPDATE: Spotted this over a Guidos Place on the comments section. Too good to miss
What a crock of fucking shit.Nobody with an IQ in two figures thinks that the cretin who masquerades as our national leader ever had any idea about creating wealth or running a functioning economyWhy should they?His only “job” was giving 9 hours of history lectures at the McTavish Polytechnic for the mentally retarded
As Guido points out every twatting commentator invariably has some agenda and all we hear about is the special interest groups and their “Interests”.
Here’s Colonel Madds recipe
Line all the banks up and tell them they are going to get their books audited as never before,unless they agree NEVER to take a penny in Government subsidy again.
This will flush out a handful of properly managed and financed banks. Audit the rest on a basis of “complete disclosure”.
No excuses, no fucking about, mandatory criminal prosecution for bankers who don’t fess up. Publish a list of “sheep” and “goats” and throw all the useless mongs that don’t make the grade to the dogs
Give full banking licences to other reputable commercial organisations (Marks and Spencers etc) and direct the capital being wasted on loans to the failed banks through them into the economy
WHERE ARE THE FUCKING TORIES ON ANY OF THIS??
OSBORNE IS A FUCKING WASTE OF SPACE:FUCKING LIMP WRISTED PUBLIC SCHOOL TWAT.
NO POLICIES,NO IDEAS,JUST AN INBRED LITTLE WANKER IN A SAVILLE ROW SUIT.
Sometimes, just sometimes, you can find diamonds in piles of shit. Hat tip to Colonel Madd, who ever he may be.