How to reduce Obesity Release hungry Tigers into nightclubs and shopping centres. Seal the doors. How to reduce drug fuelled crime Make drugs freely available, taking away a £1 Billion revenue stream from Winston da gun toting Yardie, innit and decimating burglary, muggings and petty theft overnight. No more “Granny beaten to death for £5”…
Author: admin
How to reduce Crime
Another of my short suggestions to slow the hand cart on it’s way to Hell. Britain is now the most crime riddled cesspit in Europe and no one gives a fucking shit. Well, I do. Gummint report How to reduce crime by 10% overnight. Simply round up the 5,000 cunts that…
2009, here we go
I must admit, financially, 2008 has been a good year for Old Holborn. Interest rates have gone down, his business is thriving thanks to unlimited public funds, politician’s promises, a collapsing pound and climate change idiots. House prices are crashing and I expect to add a few cheap auction bought properties to my portfolio by…
Madness and Mayhem
I’m not going out again until it calms down out there. Wednesday is market day in Braintree and the fish bloke will have oysters and I like oysters. I hadn’t reckoned with every mong in the east of England being out too. 1 Make the fucking baby walk. He’s SEVEN YEARS OLD. He does not…
Are you sitting comfortably?
Then I’ll begin. Not content with being quiet and having a few days off over Christmas, Gummint ministers and Pravda have decided to micromanage your Winterfest activities to remind you who is boss. Ministers are warning about the dangers of gravy “exploding” in microwaves as they seek to cut the 80,000 accidents which…
Old Holborn reduces murder rate by 20%
Photo by Tractorstats As a good deed for 2009, I am going to save the lives of between 80 and 100 innocent people in the UK. Ugly Jacqui, MP Midlands Dear Jackboot, Do not allow people who have been charged with murder or violent crimes out on bail, as 20% of them WILL kill someone else…
the Good Life. For some
Hat tip to torybear
On your bike, you bastards
Let me go home!
Allah! Let me get the fuck out of here, innit! An illegal immigrant who tried to flee Britain six times by stowing away on cargo ships leaving Avonmouth keeps getting caught and being made to stay. Rashid Ali made the escape attempts by hiding in boats bound for his native Morocco over a period of more…
How, exactly, does this work?
Ferrari have bucked the global economic crisis squeezing Formula One by agreeing a sponsorship deal with Indian carmaker Tata. “For the first time an Indian brand will appear on the Ferrari,” president Luca di Montezemolo told Italian media. “It’s historic.” A Ferrari spokesman confirmed a deal had been reached and said the details and duration would…