Essex Police have at last issued an apology to the family of Stuart Lubbock, who was fool enough to accept an invitation to an after hours party Chez Bawwymore. Of course, no one will be punished any more than anyone will be prosecuted.
Assistant Deputy Dog Chief Cuntstable Knackered said, “We are sorry that when officers attended the scene they accepted a large bribe and failed to notice the billiard cue protruding from the deceased’s arse.”