Captions please!
My words are often cynical, my motivation sinister
I know the laws of England though for me they don’t quite register
From Habeus to Corpus, Magna Carta doesn’t matter here!
I understand elections, swing, and all the tricks to rig ’em all
On Paliamentary theorem I am teeming with a lot o’news
With many cheerful facts to use to baffle and befuddle you
Yet ‘coz I am a Minister it doesn’t really bother me
As I make loads of cash from all my Interests on the Register
I am the very model of a modern Labour Minister
As he makes loads of cash from all his Interests on the Register
He is the very model of a modern Labour Minister
I know our country’s history from Thatcher to Jim Callaghan
I’ve studied all our foreign wars from Falklands to Afghanistan
And yet I signed the sales forms giving weapons to the Taliban
Because I’m not like Churchill, I am rather more like Chamberlain
Now I can speak to Parliament and People with authority
On topics one and all, from income tax to foreign policy
My speeches are a marvel of sonority not brevity
And I can make it sound to them like I have genuine empathy
And I can write a bill to take your Civil Rights away from you
With DNA, ID Cards and a database to follow you
In short with legislation that’s designed to chafe and monitor
I am the very model of a modern Labour Minister
Chorus
In short with legislation that’s designed to chafe and monitor
He is the very model of a modern Labour Minister
In fact when I can understand just what is meant by ‘poverty’
When I know more of life than does a novice in a nunnery
And worked instead of reading PPE at University
Then I could do my job with more compassion and propriety
For all my time in Parliament, I’m niggarly and cowardly
I simply feel the Laws of all the land do not apply to me
In short, I am a Stalinist, with motivations sinister
I am the very model of a modern Labour Minister
Chorus
In short, he is a Stalinist, with motivations sinister
He is the very model of a modern Labour Minister
*With apologies to both Gilbert AND Sullivan
Hat tip to Dungeekin