Just when you think you can’t take anymore, some fucker puts another straw on your back.
Now one of my pet hates (amongst the other millions) is “complimentary therapy”. What it usually means is some unemployable old hag, her husband long gone, no skills whatsoever decides she needs to “do something”, takes up a publicly funded course in aromatherapy and then sets herself up a an Indian head massage specialist in some remote welsh village, living off benefits and EU grants. Fine, do what you want, I say
But no, they’ve got to fucking organise themselves and set up a “charity”. To help us poor normal people who take an aspirin when we have a headache rather than rubbing two zebra bones together whilst chanting through our noses.
And of course, where there is money, you’ll find one. Just as a tapeworm silently sucks at it’s host, dig deep and wherever public money is available, you will find a pube haired, sandal wearing middle aged woman with too many cats ranting on about the benefits of Lavender Oil or ear candles.
Bingo. Got one. Lambeth council (who else you ask?) have decided to pump £90K straight at a bunch of witches to wait for it….massage the feet of unruly pupils.
That’s right. An army of “reflexologists” will work their way through 74 schools in Lambeth to (and I quote) “tend to children”.
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They are going to get stabbed or shot. This is Lambeth. Deepest darkest Lambeth.
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You do not teach children to behave by massaging their feet. Mankind is 2 million years old and has not needed foot massage to control unruly youth, so why now? All species teach their offspring to behave by giving them a clout round the ear if they step out of line.
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The “charity” doing all this useless bollocks is a classic Lee Jasper public money sponge, staffed by the sort of people who like expenses paid trips to Africa every three months to “research” new herbs.
It’s all bollocks. I confidently predict that within one year, this will be hailed an enormous success and rolled out to prisons where rapists, murderers and child killers can “de-stress” at the taxpayers expense with a nice relaxing Rieki massage from Willow Huntingdon Smythe (Member of the Institute of Stupid Old Bags waving scented candles about).
Utter cock. I’m off to punch a hippy.