“I wonder where Damocles left his sword?”
(Picture transported by heel-click from here)
The Brown Gorgon gave his ‘ordinary bloke’ impression in the Guardian. It makes for teeth-grinding reading, especially since he cannot resist reminding us how he detests the Tories (we’d figured that out by now, Gorgon) and he can’t help lying once more about his fantasy budget role-playing game, a game which he is losing faster than a colour-blind snooker player. So it’s spin, spin, spin, even when he’s trying to pretend to be real.
Something has changed though. All his playing with imaginary numbers has generated a Mandelbrot, one he now calls Lord Mandelbrot of Partly Bull and Boys, First Thingy of That Thing Over There, Diddler of the Doodah and many other names, more names than Satan himself, which should get some conspiracy theories going. Now that this Mandelbrot has inserted himself into the Gorgon’s ear, the manner of the Gorgon is subtly altered. He does little dances on YouTube. He gives personal interviews. He says things like this:
“To be honest, you could walk away from all of this tomorrow,” he said. “I’m not interested in what accompanies being in power. I wouldn’t worry if I never returned to all those places — Downing Street, Chequers – And it would probably be good for my children.”
Which sounds like a lead-up to ‘I’m retiring for family reasons’, the usual cop-out of the useless when found out. He hasn’t suggested retirement, he won’t want to, but the Mandelbrot is an insidious creature. The Gorgon is nowhere near as smart as the Mandelbrot, so the Mandelbrot can get him to say things he wouldn’t normally say. Subtleties of speech that would be lost on the Gorgon but which could prove very useful later. The Gorgon, of course, still thinks he is the best man-shaped thing for the job. Has anyone heard him define what the ‘job’ is? Could it be the job of crushing the UK and cutting it into bite-size pieces for easy consumption in the foetid maw of the EU? The Mandelbrot certainly insists on making us join the Euro, which would then make it extremely difficult to get out. If we left after we are Euroised, we would immediately have a worthless currency in circulation.
Still the Gorgon blusters on. He insists he knew nothing of the Corpse McBride’s activities, despite being his boss.
“I didn’t know that. I didn’t know that. It’s not what I do. Anyway, I don’t text. But when that behaviour was discovered: out! Gone! Away! No longer working for me. And I think if you look at the people who work in our office … it’s people who’ve come from charities, academic life, business …”
Indeed. People from charities funded by government, using money from taxpayers to pay people to tell the taxpayers how to live. People from business. In fact, people who nobody voted for run the day to day business of the country. The Maleficent Seven have cabinet posts without troubling us with any of that democracy stuff. Are we to believe they work in our interests? Why would they? It’s not as if we asked them to, and they need fear no election reprisals. Then he admits he has no idea what they’re up to. Yet he tells us this as though we should be pleased to hear it. This man is so far off the planet he can no longer see the sun.
A speech full of lies and spin, with a subtle hint that he might not want to do it any more. Who wrote that for him? The Mandelbrot is certainly complex enough to do it. Most of Labour know they have no chance at all in the next election if the Gorgon still runs the show. The sensible ones know that the damage runs deeper than the Gorgon himself, and while they cannot be the victors in the next election, they might be able to staunch the wound enough to at least survive it. To do that, they must excise the abscess burrowing into their flesh. He won’t excise himself. Nobody will excise him for them. We’re all enjoying the implosion too much to step in.
Big things are afoot, methinks, and the Gorgon is being manipulated into a position he cannot escape. He will refuse to move even when checkmate is called so it won’t be a simple game. It will take a subtle and devious hand to maneouvre him into the right place. A delicate and detailed mind, as delicate and detailed as the real Mandelbrot set, also generated using imaginary numbers. Lord Mandelbrot, in his Cloak of Many Titles, is likely to be behind it but I doubt we’ll even see his hands move. He’s that good.
There are those who think the Gorgon cannot be manipulated. He is more single-minded and stubborn than a whole field of mules. Nobody could make him do anything he won’t want to do. Push him, he will not move. He is the Iron Chancellor, perhaps better known as the Tin Man who begged Oz to give him a heart. Oz has now done so, but it comes at a price. The Gorgon is not being pushed or forced. He is being guided. When the time comes, the Gorgon will believe his resignation was his own idea. For the cheeldren.
Where manipulation is concerned, the Gorgon seems to be something of a soft touch. All it takes is a set of big teeth and a salesman’s smile.
Where the rest of the population are concerned, he’s still as heartless as the tin man. And always will be.