An ignorant bastard of the Welfare State

Leanne, the second moon of Saturn, in orbit around a fish and chip shop

I’ve been pondering as to whether to vent my spleen at this one and have decided, upon reflection, that the world would be a much, much better place if I did.

Let us, in our so called civilised society take a close look at the dark side (literally).

In this land of plenty, where a great deal of us are nothing more than bonded serfs paying over half of what we earn to our masters in return for, I don’t know what, it warms the cockles of my cold iron heart to know that our great advances have achieved a new creation of horror.

The single land whale with three bastard Halflings.

Stunning. 40 fucking stone of pure ignorance, selfishness, greed and sloth. I give you Leanne Salt, a product of Welfarism and New Labour.

A quick fling with Winston Mbeke Banana (the bastard) who fled after four weeks (probably finally got her off him), a £200,000 NHS bill and the rest of us get to feed her triplets McDonalds at six weeks old.

And she now wants her own council house: ‘I know how to microwave a meal and make up instant mash, so I think we’d all manage.’

She receives total benefits of £227 a week – £140 tax credit, £42 child benefit and £45 family allowance – which she spends on her ten-a-day cigarette habit and food. I’m so happy, I intend to pay for her transport to Mexico (and yes, you would need to charter a Hercules) for some fresh air and a tonne of nachos.